A Double Blessing

by Sara Ward

Dave and Alli Meyers’ Adoption Story

Dave and Alli Meyers decided they were ready to have a family. But little did Alli know the uphill battle she would face in getting pregnant. As every month passed without a positive pregnancy test, Alli sought the help of a specialist, where she went through daily blood draws and painful injections. But it was all worth it when Alli found out she was expecting.

The good news, however, was short lived. When Alli went for her first ultrasound, they found out the baby had life-threatening complications. “We were sitting, across the desk from a specialty doctor – one who was bluntly delivering the news to us that the stress on our son’s heart would eventually cause it to fail. He wasn’t going to live to birth; if he did, he’d die shortly thereafter.”

After the appointment Alli and Dave sat in the parking lot of the doctor’s office and cried.  “We were both totally paralyzed – so overwhelmed and sick with emotions that we couldn’t move,” Alli says. “What do you do next after you learn that you have a front row seat to watch your child’s slow death? It all seemed so unfair – to have come so far just to lose it all, like this. As tempting as it was to think of this nightmare quickly being over, we both knew that there was no choice to make. God gave our son life, and we were going to let him live it as long as He saw fit.”

Over the next six weeks Alli struggled through depression, anger and grief. “Living with a growing, dying child inside of me is an experience that I will never be able to convey,” she says. “That entire summer, I wrestled with God.”

At her 27th week appointment, Alli and Dave found out that Zeke had passed away. Now they had to go through the painful process of grieving while clinging to the Lord’s promises. “After Zeke died, I truly wondered if, and how, I would ever start really living again. Everything reminded me of all that I now had to live without…

Through God’s grace, I let the Lord fight for me as I slowly picked up the broken pieces of my life.”

Later that year, Alli found out she was pregnant again. Because she had been assured that her next child would likely be healthy, she was not prepared for the doctor’s words at her ultrasound appointment. This child had the same life-threatening health condition as her son.

“I remember turning to Dave and saying, ‘How am I supposed to do this again?’ We knew what to expect - how horrible the days and weeks leading up to our daughter’s death and birth would be. We knew the grief because we were still so deeply in it.”

Once again, Alli endured the same long wait until she found out her baby had passed away. Now grieving the loss of two children, Alli leaned on her faith while holding on to God’s promises. While she waited, she felt God leading her toward a new path.

“I see very clearly that my children’s lives had a purpose here,” she says. “They granted Dave and I both the acceptance that we needed in our hearts to move toward adoption.”

Even though the prospect of adoption brought them hope, their difficulties were not over. Seven weeks after they lost their second child, Alli’s mom, Ann Matheis, was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer.  Alli’s faith would be tested again as she watched her mom battle cancer. But Ann remained steadfast in her faith, inspiring Alli to continue hanging on to hope through every trial.

“Even in her final weeks, my mom was a shining symbol of strength and faith,” Alli explains. “The story of how God brought our adopted child into our wide-open arms would never be complete if I failed to mention the influence that she has had on my own faith. She modeled kindness and serving Jesus and others to me for almost 30 years – she helped me to lay a solid foundation for my beliefs.”

Alli’s family had bracelets designed that said “Jesus > cancer.” It reminded them of God’s sovereignty over cancer, even when the outlook was grim. After an eight-month battle with cancer, Alli’s mother went home to be with Jesus.

Now grieving her third loss, Alli focused her energy on completing their adoption paperwork, never giving up hope that God had a plan for their family. Less than a week after they finished the paperwork, they received the news that would change their lives forever. They were matched with a birth mom who was expecting not one, but two babies.

Alli was both scared and excited with this turn of events. Since adoption is often fraught with unknowns, they were worried about whether this would become another loss. But they trusted that God would bring about His plan at the right time. 

A few days after the twins were born, the birthmother made her decision: She chose Alli and Dave to be the parents of her babies and signed the adoption paperwork making Demri and Dawson part of the Meyers family.

Through this unpredictable, and often hard journey, God brought Alli and Dave a double blessing through adoption. “The biggest thing I’ve learned is that your brokenness can lead to so much beauty,” Alli says.

“He won’t let your pain go to waste. You may not see it tomorrow, but when you’re on the other side, you’ll appreciate it.”

Through great loss, Alli saw God’s plan unfolding through the gift of adoption. But she also found herself looking forward to heaven and eternity with Jesus in a new way.

“I am so thankful that our God has overcome the grave and I will live peacefully knowing that the deaths of three of the most important people in my life will leave me chasing heavenly fulfillment until my final day. After all, when huge chunks of your heart reside in heaven, your soul is left hungry for more than this earth can ever satisfy.”

Photos by Jim Kramer

Posted in: General

comments powered by Disqus