I wasn’t supposed to be born. My parents struggled for years with infertility, yet God surprised them with me. As a child, I felt far from God as the Bible was used as a disciplinary tool making me feel that I was not a good enough Christian. At 17, I started dealing with debilitating pain, and for almost a decade, I believed God wanted me to be sick as a punishment for the sin I had partaken in. I often thought, “ if God doesn’t love me, why would anyone else?”
My transformation began when I met my husband. Our road has been anything but easy. After struggling with infertility, God miraculously blessed us with twins, and then another child. My doctors were baffled. God blessed me with 3 children, when I shouldn’t have even been able to have 1. I began to understand that God did love me.
Yet, my health continued to decline. By 31, while raising my babies and going to grad school to be a Mental Health Counselor, I had 13 surgeries and multiple diagnoses, including cancer. I had never been so hopeless and miserable, like I was on death's doorstep, and felt I had nowhere to turn and no one to help me.
In my darkest moment, I fell to my knees crying out to God to let me live. I begged Him to allow me to see my babies grow up. I was begging God to save my life. I didn’t even get to finish my prayer when my phone started to ring. I looked and saw it was my oncologist. He told me that a top specialist had reviewed my case and determined I did NOT have cancer. I truly believe this was God transforming my life. He healed me the moment I surrendered to Him.
Today, I’m still on my healing journey, but, this year has been the first time that I could actually PLAY with my children. God has provided for me, saved me, and healed me. He has shown up for me in every way possible, and I am alive today because of Him. I owe Him my life. By all logic, I should be dead, but God has saved me and transformed my life as I trusted in Him. He is my purpose and the light on my path.